Saturday, August 1, 2020

How to Help a Spouse With a Problem

Relationships have both good and tough times. Unfortunately, many couples don’t know how to relate when one is struggling with an issue. This is mainly because some people choose to hide behind their problems instead of discussing them. It is best to visit couples rehabs before the physical and emotional distance causes irreparable damage to the relationship. You won’t be sorry you put in the extra effort to save your marriage.

If your partner requires space, give it to him or her


This may seem counterproductive, especially since the absence of communication has been the cause of breakdowns in relationships. However, sometimes, when experiencing a tough time, some people need space to think about their options before discussing what they are going through.

People have different reactions to the challenges they are facing. Couples are not any different because each partner has their unique traits. You need to appreciate the kind of person your spouse is and provide support accordingly.

If he or she will resent any forceful attempts from you to make the problems go away, it is best to give it some time. However, don’t allow too much time to go by without addressing the issue.

Sometimes listening is enough


It is natural for couples to stand by each other and help lessen the burden one partner bears. However, sometimes trying to fix things does more harm than good. It is great to have an opinion or even voice it, but there are times when the best you can do is to give a listening ear.

This way, even when you offer your advice or opinion, your partner will be confident that you understand what they are facing. Additionally, allowing your spouse to speak will help them come to terms with the issue.

Seek help from a professional or third party


If your partner has trouble confiding in you out of concern of overburdening you or possibly out of shame, it is best to seek help from someone who can get him or her to open up. Some couples, depending on the foundation of the relationship, have a difficult time communicating during tough times.

During this period, each one suffers quietly, and this often breeds resentment. Instead of allowing things to become worse, it is best to seek a third party’s assistance, preferably someone in whom your spouse can confide.


Use the support system you have at your disposal


As a couple, what has been your support structure? Who are your confidants? It could be your family, friends, or anyone who shares the same beliefs as the both of you.

While some people find it easy to discuss their challenges with strangers, some are more comfortable talking with those in their circle. This is especially important if the problem is too big for you and your spouse to solve. You never know, one of your close confidants may have the solution to your problems.

Read your spouse’s body language


If your spouse has trouble initiating a conversation when they have a problem, you should be the first to bring it up. Quickly identify any changes in behavior so that you can find out what the problem is before your spouse falls into depression.

For example, is he more on edge? Does your spouse indulge in more alcohol than usual? Have their sleeping patterns changed? The responses will give you a glimpse of how troubled your spouse is, so you can raise your observations when you seek to find out what is wrong.

 

Work through the problem as a team


You and your spouse are partners, through the good and the bad. If you have been making important decisions together, then the problems your spouse faces should not be any different. You need to work through this as a team.

Let your spouse know that they are not alone. Whatever challenges they face, you will find a solution together. If the problem is as a result of an addiction where therapy is necessary, take the time to attend some of the sessions. This will encourage your spouse to do everything to overcome their problems.

Be patient and understanding


This is very critical, especially if your spouse’s attitude has strained the relationship. You need to be patient and understanding, especially if they are trying to come to terms with their situation. Keep communication lines open, even when your spouse doesn’t want to talk.

Being patient to someone who is lashing out can be tough, but it will be worth it if you don’t respond with indifference or anger. If your spouse feels your support, he or she will be more positive about confronting the situation. The issue will also be resolved much faster if you both confront it together.

Thursday, July 23, 2020

What I Wish I Would Have Known As a New Mom

Being a mom is one of the best experiences that a woman can ever have. In motherhood you get to raise babies that look up to you. You also offer them guidance and teach them good moral values. You learn these practices, as your baby tends to mature. It helps you create a strong bond with your baby that can improve your relationship in the future. However, things can be challenging, especially if you were not well prepared. This can be devastating as a new mom since you lack the experience. Here are is what is wish I would have known as a new mom:

1) Sleepless Nights End
Babies are one of the most exciting beings that you will ever get. They come with so much joy that you cannot resist watching. They can be so charming when handled with care. You can check out Mommyhood101 to get guidelines for what to expect when you are a new mom. A new mom may lack the knowledge of knowing that certain things in children always end.

In this case, sleepless nights can be a challenge to new moms since babies will always wake you up at night. At times, this may be for you to breastfeed them or change their diapers. The good thing is that this always ends once the baby is mature.

2) Teething
Raising a baby as a new mom is always a learning experience. You get to learn things that you can correct once you get a second baby. Some can be stressful to learn, but with time, you can adapt easily. Teething is a process that each new mom will experience. This is when a baby starts to develop new sets of teeth. This process affects the babies differently, where some may cry a lot. Here you can invest in gadgets that help soften the teething process.


3) Multitasking
Life without a baby can be easy since you can perform different tasks at the same time. This is because your mind is more focused on the things that are driving you now. On the other hand, things can be quite different from being a new mom. You will require learning how to multitask on your chores, career, and, most importantly, the newborn baby. This can be hard at fast, but with practice, it becomes easy. For instance, you are cooking for your family and as well as breastfeeding your baby. The best approach you need to know is starting with crucial parts. This helps relax your mind and get a good sleep.

4) Dads are also Great Parents
Most women may underestimate how men are capable of handling babies since it is believed that women should take responsibility. What you did not know is that dads can make good parents too. When raising a child, you are supposed to share responsibilities since everybody has a life to live. It might be hard at first since it is a new experience for everyone. You only require learning and supporting each other. For instance, if you tend to go shopping, you can always account for the support of the dad to take care of the baby.

Saturday, June 27, 2020

Summer Lovin'

Summer is here in full force. Summer this year will be different than summers past have been. There will be less social gatherings, more time at home. I am mostly a homebody anyway, but I was still a little bit disappointed that summer fashion will not be as important as it usually is.

However, I will not let that stop me from having a great summer. It won't even stop me from having fun summer styles to get excited about. In fact, I just grabbed some super cute PJs, and they are the total embodiment of social distance summer.

What says "Summer Lovin'" (indoors) more than Grease pajamas? They are so cute, I can't stand it. Now, when I lay around, watching Grease all summer, I will actually feel stylish. I won't be "lazy", I will be responsibly maintaining social distance. This is a dream come true, honestly.

The adorable Grease Pajamas from TVStoreOnline come in two styles. They are essentially "men's" and "women's" styles, but if you think I am not wearing both, you are dead wrong. Awesome is awesome, regardless of gender. Never let stupid labels stop you from wearing whatever you want.

Look how cute these "Pink Ladies" Pajamas are! The shorts are especially good for summer, since it gets so hot, though I am very self-conscious about my legs, so I don't wear shorts often.

Thankfully for me, the "T Birds" Pajamas are pants, for when I want to be more covered up. Actually they are long sleeved, too.


But I actually sometimes wear the pants from these with the Pink Ladies top, they go together perfectly. So I have 3 ways to wear them. Well, 4 actually, I could totally wear the T Birds top with the shorts, too. Talk about versatility.


So basically, I am lounging around, in style, having the best summer ever. Obviously, things are messed up right now, but we can still be positive in whatever ways we can. We will make it through this. Stay safe. Keep singing.

And for even more to get excited about enter below for your chance to win any (in-stock) item from TVStoreOnline. Good luck!

*Although I received these items at no cost, to facilitate a review, all opinions are 100% my own.*

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thursday, June 25, 2020

Flagged

I have seen a lot of talk, lately, about the confederate flag and how some people are upset that most people want it removed from use. It is strange to me that lack of empathy those people posses, while still expecting that people should empathize with their desire to use such a hateful flag.

While I would love wax poetic about why that flag is degrading and why it was never something to have pride in in the first place, I think, instead, I should just mention that there are many other types of flags for one to have pride in.

In fact, it is currently Pride Month, so there are literally pride flags to mention. There is the gay pride flag, lesbian pride flag, bisexual pride flag, asexual pride flag, transgender pride flag, etc. Even if none of those thing applies to you personally, you likely have a friend or family member to whom it does apply. And even if you don't, supporting the underrepresented is extremely important.

If you think that's too "political", although equality and basic human rights are not political in the slightest, there are things lie sports team flags. My husband has several in support of his favorite teams. These are fun because it's a way to show pride in the college you went to or a team you grew up watching with your parents, or just your support of a team you like. It helps you feel more connected, like you are a part of it, instead of just a spectator.

Of course, there is country flags, like my husband has an Irish flag, because he was born in Ireland, and there are even state flags. State Flags, as far as I know, are not a novel idea, by any means. However, that does not mean I actually know anything about them. I've often found myself presented with a flag and wonder what it was for, only to discover it was a state flag. For the longest time I could not even identify the Florida flag. I have lived here my whole life.


Flags have never really been my thing, but it was interesting to look at all the different state flags and I actually kind of love the idea of flying your home state when you move away and things like that. A way to keep a piece of your roots with you no matter where you go. A real piece of history. Of your personal roots, not some "cause" that was never the right side.

Sunday, June 21, 2020

Hitting the Books

Most people might not know this about me, but I love to read. Actually, to be more accurate, I used to love reading. In recent (and not-so-recent) years I have very much gotten distracted by life. It had gotten to the point that I cannot even remember how long it has been since I have read an actual book all the way through.

I have half-read along several books with my son during the school year, so that I could better help him with his school assignments. I have read things online, short stories written by friends or that are part of fandoms that I am interested in. But I have not read a whole book in years.

During the time, it never felt like it had been that long. Now, looking back, it feels like a lifetime. Like I am starting at the beginning or something. That seems absurd, but maybe it is fairly correct. I've missed out on every single book released in the past 5 years at least, let alone all the classics I had never read before that. It makes me sad to think about.

And I am so excited to be diving back in to an exciting world, or many, many worlds, of fiction, but I am also very overwhelmed. I don't know where to start. I have always been a sucker for angsty plots. I like a thrilling, even heartbreaking read, as long as it has a satisfying ending.


And as much as I love fiction, I also love non-fiction. I love reading people's struggles and accomplishments and the lessons they have learned and the wisdom they can share because of all that. I love being able to see how much we all have in common, no matter who we are or where we are from.

In fact, I have always wanted to write a book. My sister and I have discussed it more than once. We've had a very interesting life. My siblings and I have all faced many hardships and even our mother before us. We have tried (and sometimes failed) to break generational "curses" and to be better people and leave a better example and legacy for our own children. I feel like we have a story that, unfortunately, many can resonate with.

We have never taken it super seriously, but it is something that we have always had in our heads. I would really love to look more into self publishing and how that could work for people like my sister and I. Using Sam Haskell as an example, it worked out phenomenally well for him.

Just being able to sit and write out all my experiences like that would be incredibly therapeutic, I think. I always tend to use writing as a way to vent my emotions anyway. I have done poetry when I am feeling sad or depressed or stressed out for as long as I can remember. Being able to take it a step further and actually publish something meaningful would be so incredible.

I think someday we are really going to do it. I feel like it is something we both need to do. Until then, I will lose myself in all the amazing stories that other people have bestowed upon the world. That is more than enough for now.

Real Estate Investing

A few years ago my husband and I first began, tentatively, to look for investment opportunities. Neither of us had ever really had any experience in that area, and we didn't even know where to start. My husband's father had quite a bit of success with investing. He offered us some advise, which we were extremely grateful for.

I wish that we had been more outright and asked him more. He has since passed on, making that impossible now. The wisdom he did impart us with was still incredibly helpful, though. In addition to helping us discover the best interest gaining savings accounts, like CDs, his biggest recommendation was real estate investment.

He had experience with it. He had taken affordable, less than desirable properties, and fixed them up, creating thriving business and attractive renting and sale prospects. He often rented out his own second home during the months they were in their primary home, and offered us so many tips on the best ways to go about that type of property renting.

We were actively looking for a place to do that type of thing a couple years ago, and then life got in the way, as it so often seems to do, and that had to take a backseat. Now, we are starting to revisit the idea real estate investment. More specifically, wholesaling real estate.

We have just discovered this type of real estate investing, and it seems really interesting, since there appears to be very little risk involved. It is also ideal because we would not be tasked with providing any of the repairs. I am excited to really dive into this, and use it as at least the starting point of our investment experience. Once we have really gotten the hang of it (and started to build up a nice little nest egg from the profits) we could move on to more complex, and costly ventures.


Ideally, the goal will be to eventually own a second property (or more than that) that we can rent out. For profit would be wonderful, but my father in law told us that it even if you rent it out at just enough to cover the mortgage and taxes, you are still coming out far ahead, since, in such a case, the renters are buying your property for you. Down the line, you will still own another property that you technically didn't have to pay for.

As I mentioned, we would like to do this at least once, so that, with the house we have now, and the other property, we would be able to have a home for each of our children. Though the ultimate goal is to acquire two additional homes, so that each child can have one when they are old enough, and we would still have our own home.

Being able to provide for our children in such a way is very import to us. My parents were not able to do that kind of thing, and I understand and adore them for everything they have done. Still, I want my children to have more. My husband feels the same. His parents were able to do more, and he wants to surpass that, still. Hopefully, in addition to whatever assets we can pass on to them, we also can install some useful knowledge, like my husband's father has done for us.

Monday, June 15, 2020

Chill Out this Summer

It's time, summer is almost (officially) here. In Florida, it's been here for weeks already, but that doesn't mean it won't get even hotter. Imagine wearing a huge jacket, while sitting by a campfire, inside your oven and then you can imagine what a moderate day in Florida summer is like.

So, to say things are about to heat up is an understatement. And when you consider the fact that a lot of indoor activities are still closed or, at least, not fully safe for social distancing, then the demand for outdoor fun is only increased. At least around here we have the beach, not that we go, it's always slammed without out-of-towners.

There is still picnics, and walks and bike riding and a multitude of other outdoor activities. All of which will be hot as can be. The need to stay hydrated and cool is essential. Literally, there is so much risk involved with being in that kind of heat without proper hydration.

I guess what I am saying is, get a cooler and truckloads of ice bags and make sure stay cool and drink water. I hate water, believe me, but many other drinks can act as a diuretic and dehydrate you further, and that is the last thing you will want.

In addition to truckloads of ice and water, sunscreen is very important, too. Even if you don't burn, which you still might, you can still cause skin damage, like sunspots and wrinkles, and even get skin cancer. Sunscreen and shade are your friend.

Summer might look a little different this year, but lets enjoy it. Maybe it will be the best one yet. Embrace the new normal and have fun, and be SAFE.