How to Help a Spouse With a Problem

Relationships have both good and tough times. Unfortunately, many couples don’t know how to relate when one is struggling with an issue. This is mainly because some people choose to hide behind their problems instead of discussing them. It is best to visit couples rehabs before the physical and emotional distance causes irreparable damage to the relationship. You won’t be sorry you put in the extra effort to save your marriage.

If your partner requires space, give it to him or her

This may seem counterproductive, especially since the absence of communication has been the cause of breakdowns in relationships. However, sometimes, when experiencing a tough time, some people need space to think about their options before discussing what they are going through.

People have different reactions to the challenges they are facing. Couples are not any different because each partner has their unique traits. You need to appreciate the kind of person your spouse is and provide support accordingly.

If he or she will resent any forceful attempts from you to make the problems go away, it is best to give it some time. However, don’t allow too much time to go by without addressing the issue.

Sometimes listening is enough

It is natural for couples to stand by each other and help lessen the burden one partner bears. However, sometimes trying to fix things does more harm than good. It is great to have an opinion or even voice it, but there are times when the best you can do is to give a listening ear.

This way, even when you offer your advice or opinion, your partner will be confident that you understand what they are facing. Additionally, allowing your spouse to speak will help them come to terms with the issue.

Seek help from a professional or third party

If your partner has trouble confiding in you out of concern of overburdening you or possibly out of shame, it is best to seek help from someone who can get him or her to open up. Some couples, depending on the foundation of the relationship, have a difficult time communicating during tough times.

During this period, each one suffers quietly, and this often breeds resentment. Instead of allowing things to become worse, it is best to seek a third party’s assistance, preferably someone in whom your spouse can confide.

Use the support system you have at your disposal

As a couple, what has been your support structure? Who are your confidants? It could be your family, friends, or anyone who shares the same beliefs as the both of you.

While some people find it easy to discuss their challenges with strangers, some are more comfortable talking with those in their circle. This is especially important if the problem is too big for you and your spouse to solve. You never know, one of your close confidants may have the solution to your problems.

Read your spouse’s body language

If your spouse has trouble initiating a conversation when they have a problem, you should be the first to bring it up. Quickly identify any changes in behavior so that you can find out what the problem is before your spouse falls into depression.

For example, is he more on edge? Does your spouse indulge in more alcohol than usual? Have their sleeping patterns changed? The responses will give you a glimpse of how troubled your spouse is, so you can raise your observations when you seek to find out what is wrong.

 

Work through the problem as a team

You and your spouse are partners, through the good and the bad. If you have been making important decisions together, then the problems your spouse faces should not be any different. You need to work through this as a team.

Let your spouse know that they are not alone. Whatever challenges they face, you will find a solution together. If the problem is as a result of an addiction where therapy is necessary, take the time to attend some of the sessions. This will encourage your spouse to do everything to overcome their problems.

Be patient and understanding

This is very critical, especially if your spouse’s attitude has strained the relationship. You need to be patient and understanding, especially if they are trying to come to terms with their situation. Keep communication lines open, even when your spouse doesn’t want to talk.

Being patient to someone who is lashing out can be tough, but it will be worth it if you don’t respond with indifference or anger. If your spouse feels your support, he or she will be more positive about confronting the situation. The issue will also be resolved much faster if you both confront it together.