Health Hurdles

Some of you may have noticed that in the past few months I have been very scare with posting here. I am sorry for that. There are several personal reasons that have kept me from being able to work. I am not able to share all the circumstances, but I can mention that I have had to go out of state for a while.

I had to spend some time in New Jersey, where my mother in law lives. She is in increasingly poor health, both physically and mentally, and now requires 24/7 care. Whenever we are able to be with her, I am her primary caregiver. In our absence, she has home health aides that stay with her around the clock.

Still, it seems that she will need even more care, that she may only be able to get in a live-in facility. This is obviously a huge decision for many reasons. Of course there is her health and happiness to consider. Those may be conflicting in this case. She would prefer to stay at home. But she is not really in a sound mind anymore, so she has a power of attorney and a healthcare proxy that can make these decisions in her best interest.

Of course, as much as it should not be a factor, financial matters also play a role in what options we    explore. My mother in law's health is the most important thing, but we need to do a lot of research and find a place that is, first and foremost, trustworthy and secondly that is covered by her insurance, or is worth the cost of going outside of insurance.

I have never needed any expertise in this area, so I have none. It is quite a tedious process and it can feel very overwhelming at times. I have done so many searches that words hardly seem real. Google, of course, medical articles, care facility websites, hospice, AHM, and much more.



Still, it feels like we are only at the very start of this, and the road ahead seems long and bumpy. Aside from how draining and time consuming this process has been, there is also a mental hurdle to overcome. It has become hard to get back to this blog and anything else without feeling I am being selfish and not doing enough. 

I just wanted to let everyone know why I have been so bad about posting, and apologize, but also to say that, while I hope to get back to more frequent posts, that I am not sure that I will be able to for a little while longer.

Also, if anyone else is (or has) also going through this, I want to send my sincere support. Really, we all have invisible battles every day, and if you are struggling or just not at your best, please know that I care and I am wishing you the best. And that just getting up and continuing to try is such a huge victory. Things will get better. Stay strong, but it's okay not to be.